As easily distracted manic Amazon prowlers, naturally, we’ve stumbled upon some pretty unusual products on Amazon. Indeed, just like the dark side of YouTube that we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives at 5am with bloodshot eyes — Amazon also has its dirty little secrets.
For anyone interested , we’ve assembled a list of 12 weird things you can buy on Amazon:
- Hand Finger Puppets
- Grow a Boyfriend or Girlfriend
- Senior Woman with Asthma Inhaler Decal
It honestly took me a few stages of “WTF” to figure this one out. Judging by a near 5-star rating, people appreciate the comfort of an elderly woman using an inhaler on their wall. It makes us wonder though; who exploited their grandmother for this?!
- Yodelling Pickle
- Liquid Ass
- Coin Bank with a Face
>This Face Bank wins both the Creepy and Weird Award. Simply feed this stationary blue face a coin and it will accept it with an open mouth. The fact that it’s actually cute looking makes it all-the-more creepy and weird.
- Albino Pet Rock With a Leash
- Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula
- Gift of Nothing
- Fish Zipper Pouch or Pencil Case
- Instant Underwear (just add water!)
- Creepy Cage Face Coffee Mug
Admittedly, these finger hand puppets are more on the creepy side of the fence, but they are nonetheless pretty damn weird. They’ve also, surprisingly, succeeding in becoming the #1 Best Selling item in Amazon’s Finger Puppets section, so I gotta hand it to them.
Finding the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t easy for all of us. Thanks to this novelty invention, you can now grow the perfect significant other in the comfort of your own bathtub. Unusual, but also a pretty funny gag gift for anyone who always complains about being single.
Because why the hell not?! Let’s be real here, teaching a pickle to yodel is quite the challenging task. Thanks to this widely-demanded invention, you can now relish (ha!) in the sound of a yodelling pickle with just one press of a button.
With an almost 5-star rating based off of 3,657 reviews, apparently this Liquid Ass is to die for. From what I’ve gathered, it’s a vile, highly concentrated spray that smells like a filthy inside out anus. It’s so putrid that teenagers have gotten suspended and office building have been evacuated. Tempted? I dare you.
As if rock pets themselves weren’t strange enough for the Internet’s weirdos, there’s now an Albino version that comes with its own leash. That’s right, you can literally take your Albino rock pet for a leisurely stroll in the park. At least it’s more interactive and easier to manage than a goldfish?
These edible dehydrated tarantulas may not be weird for everyone, as about 2 billion people in the World consume insects on the daily. But for anyone unfamiliar with the insects-for-protein craze, this BBQ insect snack might be a weird find on Amazon. Lightly dusted in BBQ seasoning, these dehydrated tarantulas are crunchy and even tasty if you dare try.
There’s not much to say about this gift that consists of nothing. It’s literally just a plastic molded piece of nothing. It’s slightly weird, but it lets you be a grade A smartass when someone asks for “nothing” for their birthday.
If there was an uncanny valley scale for fish, this Carp Fish Zipper Pouch would be pretty high up there. If you’re into provoking scenes in public spaces, whip out this fish pouch and enjoy the hilarious reactions of strangers.
These instant underpants are a great accessory for unanticipated one night stands or bowel mishaps — whichever is more your style. While they’re intended to be a novelty item, as a frequent traveller I honestly think they’re kind of useful (but I’m also pretty weird).
I guess for some people out there, there’s nothing more satisfying than sipping your morning coffee from a double-sided Nicolas Cage coffee mug. Left-handed or right-handed, the frightened, but also concerned eyes of Cage will be gazing into yours.