13 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts For Her or Him on Amazon

13 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts For Her or Him on Amazon
February 10, 2017 Salt n Pop
Best Valentines Gift Ideas on Amazon

So it’s that awkward time of year where most couples feel a gun-pointed-at-your-head-type obligation to celebrate their accumulation of love in one way or another. Whether it be a candlelit dinner surrounded by a herd of couples looking each other deeply in the eyes or a hyperomantic bubble bath at home, couples will do what they can to live up to mainstream society’s expectations of a loving couple on that one mysterious mid-February day we call Valentines Day.

If you’re like most of us, you just realized that Valentines is less than a week away and that you have nothing remotely special planned, asides from the usual Netflix and Chill. One way to make up for a lack of romantic intuitions is to show up with a gift that will invoke both laughs and kisses. Luckily for anyone in the U.S., Amazon Prime can ship pretty much anything to your doorstep in just two days’ time. Not a Prime member? So what, take advantage of their free 30-day trial for this tacky occasion.

To guide you in your search for the perfect Valentines Day gift for your lover, we compiled a list of 13 cool gifts for her or him on Amazon that will make you look prepared for the big day:

  1. The Good Husband Guide: 19 Tips for Domestic Bliss

  2. Good Husband Guide Book

    The Good Husband Guide is more of a Valentines gag gift, but it’s worth getting just for the reaction that will ensue. For that reason, we recommend combining this with something a bit higher up on the romance scale. To balance out the gender stereotypes, you can also combine it with the Good Wife Guide, or vice versa depending on your gender.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON






  3. The World’s Largest Gummy Heart

  4. World's largest gummy heart

    Your lover’s heart is sure to skip a beat or two when their eyes land on this one-pound bag of sweet, sweet love. It’s also a pretty literal way of telling someone to eat your heart out.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON






  5. Squeezable Stress Boobies

  6. Stress Ball Boobies

    Single on Valentine’s Day? Keep abreast of your stress and loneliness with these squeezable stress-relieving breasts. They also make a fun (and funny) gag gift for your lover.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON






  7. Diamond Ring Shaped I Love You Lamp

  8. LED Diamond Ring I Love You Lamp

    Too soon or too broke for a real diamond ring? This LED I Love You lamp is a cool and budget-friendly temporary solution and also a bright and creative way to express your undivided love for your partner.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON





  9. Monogamy Board Game for Couples
  10. Monogamy Board Game for Couples

    The Monogamy board game is a fun and proactive way to enhance intimacy in the bedroom. Not only will it spice things up on Valentines Day, you’ll have it at your disposal until the end of time, ensuring that your sex life doesn’t die prematurely.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON





  11. Elephant Trunk Underwear

  12. Elephant Trunk Underwear Amazon

    Single on Valentine’s Day? Keep abreast of your stress and loneliness with these squeezable stress-relieving breasts. They also make a fun (and funny) gag gift for your lover.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON






  13. His Beer Mug & Hers Wine Glass Set

  14. His Beer Mug & Her Wine Glass Set

    Any couple that fits this heteronormative stereotype can kill two birds with one stone with this lovers glass set comprising of a Beer Mug For Him and a Wine Glass For Her. They’re quirky, cute, free from tackiness, and can easily be used for years down the road.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON



  15. Mr. Right and Mrs. Always Right Mugs

  16. Mr Right and Mrs Always Right Mugs

    Not big on the booze? These mugs are an equally cute alternative. Just like most of the items on this Valentines gift list, these mugs can actually be put to use and enjoyed on a daily basis. They’re tall, colourful, and also a less direct way of expressing your emotional attachment to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON


  17. Fuck Me Perfume

  18. Fuck me Perfume Fragrance

    Created by sexologists, the Fuck Me Perfume combines floral scents with oriental fruitiness with the intent of making whoever is wearing it irresistibly stimulating to their partner. While it’s more of a Valentines gag gift, Sure Fuck Cologne’s description of the fragrance is oddly convincing.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON


  19. Sexy Little Book of Sex Games

  20. Sex Games Book

    Why not get straight to the point? Valentines Day is the only commercial occasion of the year that you can get away with wrapping up a sex games book and calling it a gift without feeling like a perve.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON







  21. Netflix and Chill Condom

  22. Netflix and Chill Condom

    This Netflix and Chill condom is a self-explanatory Valentines gag gift that will undoubtedly raise an eyebrow or two. Nonetheless, better end your night of romance responsibly while simultaneously keeping up with the latest social media trends.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON




  23. I Love You & Love You More Pillowcase Set

  24. I Love You & Love You More Pillowcases

    Lets be real here; pillows that scream I LOVE YOU are only cute for about 24 hours. Beyond that, they’re just tacky. Unlike their pillow counterparts, these I Love You & Love You More pillowcases can be folded up and tucked away until he or she feels the need for an in-your-face reminder.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON






  25. XXXopoly Board Game – Couples’ Monopoly

  26. XXXopoly - Sex Monopoly Game for Couples

    A fun way of saying “lets get kinky”, the XXXopoly game puts a sexual twist on the beloved classic Monopoly game. You probably won’t end up finishing the game, but that’s the whole point.

    SEE IT ON AMAZON



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